I'm a single gay Dad

So I am going to try and keep some sort of momentum and continue to write, on what I hope is a regular basis. Like the title of this post states, I am a single gay Dad. I am not raising my son alone. I have shared custody with my soon to be ex-wife. I esentially have a 50/50 arrangment, which was in no way easy for me to attain.
When we were happily married, my wife and I shared all of the duties associated with raising our child. I got up for night feedings, I changed diapers, I cleaned and boiled bottles, I gave all of the baths when he was first born, cause she was afraid to drop him. I snuggled and read him books and had a ritual of having quite time in his room after he was asleep and before I went to bed where I'd sneak in and listen to three breaths before I'd go to bed myself. I was a good Dad with a strong bond... just as strong I would argue as his mother.
Strangely, after we seperated all of that was forgotten. I suddenly was the enemy, no matter how much my son still needed me. I was his Dad, but I was gay. Apparently, that aspect of sexual orientation was going to cloud my ability to be a good father in the future.
I went from a life of seeing, holding and loving my son EVERYDAY to every other day, in the beginning of the seperation, to at the worst point only a couple of days a week. I didn't take it laying down. I had a good lawyer that I trusted and filed to take her to court, when she decided I only needed to see him every other weekend and one day on the weeks I didn't have him for the weekend. I was devistated to be honest. I told someone who had been my best friend my deepest secret and not that I expected acceptance, but I didn't expect for her to forget who I was. The one thing that defined me most was being a Dad and she forgot I could do that... and at times probably better than any man she knew in her life... certainly better than any man in her family, and possibly mine.
The seperation took it's toll on all of us. I can't speak for her, but I can speak for myself and in part for my son. My son was and probably is still very confused. He didn't understand why Mom and Dad weren't ever with him together, or why Mom and he had moved to his grandparent's house while Dad stayed in his home and got ready to sell the house. He didn't understand the tears, or the fighting we tried unsuccessfully to never do in front of him. He was confused and felt pain. Pain I would do anything to take away from him. I just pray that he's young enough to never remember the hardest of days.
I also found myself wrapped up in my own feelings and forgot how to be that Dad I always was. Initially, I thought I had to keep him busy when we were together. I had to be fun so he'd want to be with me. And there were times where I was too quiet, lost in the feelings I was having. The all consuming fears of not being happy again, and that I had ruined everyone else's lives. But some how my son got my focus turned back around. He just wanted to spend time with me. Reading a book, or snuggling, or just hanging out. And I found how to be that good father again... someone I am proud of. I'm a single gay Dad.