In the mental process I put myself through, contemplating going back to a married life with my wife, I think of those things that I would probably sacrifice that I have learned to enjoy in my new life. Those things include:
The new friends I have made
The friendship with Him
The life of a single man, who can go out for drinks if friends are going, without considering others feelings or plans
The feeling of fitting in with my peers
My gold stilettos (haha… just making sure you’re still paying attention)
An exciting sex life.
But is there a way we could, with a lot of couples therapy, incorporate most of those things into our marriage?
Surely, she would get along with my new friends if they were just friends. My ex has never really had an issue with any of my friends over the years. Actually, come to think of it, there were a limited number of friends I introduced to our relationship, because I never really had the confidence to make friends… something that seemed to spark when I came out. And Him, well he would be out of the picture obviously.
As for the life of a single man, and the exciting sex life, incorporating those would require a very open mind on her part. There would need to be open conversations on what was acceptable behavior on both of our parts. Could we reach a level of an open-relationship where neither of our feelings could get hurt? Probably an impossible feat.
I would have a long road of finishing things with Him before I could ever approach her about reconciliation but somewhere in my twisted brain all of this could work. I could have the best of both worlds. I could be fully me, and I could be a husband and father.
Is all of this really part of the grieving process or is this me telling myself what will make me happy and I should follow that path?Or what if Him was out of the picture… would my ex and I be able to get back to friendship or even BFF status? I know he is a big issue for her. If he was gone, would that make things better?
Or would all of this just make my ex need more therapy, and hurt her self-esteem, and maybe we would end up in this exact same position again?This is probably a clear case of you made your bed and now you have to sleep in it… but I can’t help but wonder… and in some small way plan it out in my head.
The new friends I have made
The friendship with Him
The life of a single man, who can go out for drinks if friends are going, without considering others feelings or plans
The feeling of fitting in with my peers
My gold stilettos (haha… just making sure you’re still paying attention)
An exciting sex life.
But is there a way we could, with a lot of couples therapy, incorporate most of those things into our marriage?
Surely, she would get along with my new friends if they were just friends. My ex has never really had an issue with any of my friends over the years. Actually, come to think of it, there were a limited number of friends I introduced to our relationship, because I never really had the confidence to make friends… something that seemed to spark when I came out. And Him, well he would be out of the picture obviously.
As for the life of a single man, and the exciting sex life, incorporating those would require a very open mind on her part. There would need to be open conversations on what was acceptable behavior on both of our parts. Could we reach a level of an open-relationship where neither of our feelings could get hurt? Probably an impossible feat.
I would have a long road of finishing things with Him before I could ever approach her about reconciliation but somewhere in my twisted brain all of this could work. I could have the best of both worlds. I could be fully me, and I could be a husband and father.
Is all of this really part of the grieving process or is this me telling myself what will make me happy and I should follow that path?Or what if Him was out of the picture… would my ex and I be able to get back to friendship or even BFF status? I know he is a big issue for her. If he was gone, would that make things better?
Or would all of this just make my ex need more therapy, and hurt her self-esteem, and maybe we would end up in this exact same position again?This is probably a clear case of you made your bed and now you have to sleep in it… but I can’t help but wonder… and in some small way plan it out in my head.
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